I think it is important to keep in mind that meditation, spirituality etc are very individual, so what has helped me might not necessarily be what you need. That said, here are some resources I've found useful/enjoyable. Please take what resonates with you and ignore what does not. All areas of spirituality, personal development, etc have just a deluge of content, so sometimes I even find it helpful to focus on a single resource, or even a single paragraph or sentence that resonates with me at the time and go deep rather than wide, particularly when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Guided meditations:

I am part of the Plum Village tradition, as founded by Thich Nhat Hanh - a strong focus on adapting the practice to the Western context, meeting people where they are, and engaged Buddhism / social justice:

I haven't tried this myself, but another member of my local group says she enjoys Meditate Together, which has online, group meditations every hour of the day.

Some books - notably Buddhism has a strong focus on experience rather than what people say or write, so there is an emphasis on putting the books down and not being so attached to them, but I do find them useful as I enjoy reading! Most of these are by Thich Nhat Hanh or other authors in the Plum Village tradition. Let me know if there are any books you like but can't afford, and I can probably easily send you a copy.

Resources on death and living the life you want:

  • For context, during my extensive self-reflection, I found that there were a few major factors that I wanted to improve in my life: letting go of anxiety and fear, mostly around death; developing my gender expression; and living according to my ideal values (which for me meant less consumerism / letting go of consumption-focused habits I'd developed mostly via osmosis, in order to be more generous)
  • Scientific review article on death anxiety - lots of great stuff! Talks about both adaptive responses and maladaptive responses, and mentions lots of ways to make peace, including lifestyle changes, different types of therapy, etc
  • Lives of Positive Disintegration - this is a bit of a curveball, but I've found a lot of self-reflection and self-development value in Dabrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration. The theory suggests that there are 5 levels of development, and there are different mechanisms - generally involving productive struggle / internal conflict, hence 'positive distintegration' - to reach higher levels of development. This theory has been mostly studied in research on giftedness and gifted development, which is how I encountered it. This article, 'Lives of Positive Disintegration', talks about four exemplars of people who have reached the highest level of development, often under the worst conditions imaginable. I found the story of Etty Hillesum from the Holocaust to be particularly profound, and I've read her diaries.