Note: I am trans femme, and I can only write from that perspective.

I experience persistent bottom dysphoria. But genital configuration surgery would cost me $30,000, three months in hospital, and a further year of intense physical recovery—time and money that I do not have.

I work in small charity startups, so I am used to thinking: how can I get the most value out of our limited resources, especially in the face of uncertainty? As it turns out, this mindset can also help with gender euphoria.

Step 1. Brainstorm

To figure out the activities, experiences and items that give us the most gender euphoria, it helps to have as many options as possible. Surgery is one way to exchange time and money for gender euphoria. There are thousands of other ways.

When brainstorming, think big—we don’t need to limit ourselves at this stage. Having 20 or 30 ideas is good. 50 or 100 is great. A trusted friend or even ChatGPT can offer many great examples that would not have occurred to you.

If you need help getting started, some of the ways I love to express myself and some activities that help me experience queer joy are:

Wearing tight jeans
Meeting up with queer and/or affirming friends for dessert
Using “she/her” pronouns in online groups
Bleaching my hair
Getting tattoos
Playing soccer
Wearing makeup or face glitter
Reading novels with queer characters

Step 2. Experiment

Entrepreneurs often talk about a “minimum viable product”, which means designing the simplest possible product that can be used to get feedback from potential customers. We can do the same thing—each of our brainstormed ideas is a product that might (or might not) generate queer joy and gender affirmation, and our customer is ourself.

Pick the 3 or 5 ideas that strike you as the most interesting. Can you think of a way to test the idea with low effort?

Examples:

For the idea “new hairstyle”, you could buy a $20 packet of hair gel or colour from the supermarket. This is a lot cheaper than booking in at a hair salon.
For the idea “more affirming friends”, you could join a local trans group online and interact with a few people.
For the idea “voice lessons”, you could download an online voice training guide and ask a friend to spend an hour practicing with you.

Step 3. Reflect

For each idea, did you enjoy the experience or not? Did you feel any gender euphoria or joy from the activity?

If you tried a few ideas and none worked, you can go back to your brainstorm list and pick some new ones to try—the beauty of starting small is that you can easily abandon ideas that don’t seem to work.

Step 4. Scale

The fun bit—if you found one or two things that do make you feel really good, then it’s time to go big!

If you felt euphoric from experimenting with your hair, then perhaps you could book a full day with a trans-affirming hair stylist. If you found a lot of joy in being around other trans people, perhaps you could join a local LGBTQIA+ hobby group.

Of course, this will depend on the amount of spare money and time that you have access to. For me, it helps to keep a couple of things in mind:

Genital reconfiguration surgery costs tens of thousands of dollars and months or years of physical effort. Compared to this, every other idea suddenly looks much cheaper. For the $30,000 that I would have to pay for genital reconfiguration surgery, I could afford to buy one of every type of tucking underwear in the world, some really comfy sports bras, and dozens of sessions with an affirming therapist or voice coach—and still probably have $25,000 to donate to my local animal shelter.
Living with gender dysphoria, when the feeling is preventable, means paying a significant cost in mental energy and happiness that you should not ignore. If you can afford it, paying a few hundred dollars for some new clothes or some sessions with an affirming therapist can be a great investment that pays off over time. Even if reducing your gender dysphoria makes you feel just 5% better every day, that’s a significant improvement to your wellbeing that can accumulate over time and free up mental energy for other meaningful pursuits or activities.

Some final tips

Listen to your body, and don’t neglect your felt experience. The visual or aesthetic component of your body image is important, but it’s not everything—you can also derive a lot of gender euphoria from your physical felt experience. I find this a lot when playing sport, which lets me engage with my trans body in physically intense ways and feels really empowering.
I find a lot of value in reading about the experiences of other trans people, whether it’s books or graphic novels. Reading about other people’s experiences can be affirming and make you feel less alone, and it can also give you great ideas for expressing your gender identity that you wouldn’t have encountered otherwise.
There might be local organisations in your area that can offer support, whether through services or discounted products. One great Aussie example is Sock Drawer Heroes, which has a Pay It Forward program to help trans people afford affirming clothes like binders and tucking underwear. Likewise, if you are fortunate enough to be financially secure, please consider donating to help other trans people in your community or around the world.

And finally, since I’m a complete nerd, here are some books and zines that might help give you ideas:

Gender Euphoria, edited by Laura Kate Dale, brings together a number of trans, non-binary, and intersex writers offering their experiences.
The zines Fucking Trans Women by Mira Bellwether and Sex with Trans Men by Dion Nolan offer some information and ideas for engaging with your sexuality.
The Chromatic Fantasy by H.A. is an amazing graphic novel about one person’s trans masc experience—this book made me feel seen in a way I cannot put into words.